It’s been a long time coming, but I think it is time to let it all out. I was on the train today when I looked at the stop it said “Borough Hall” so much went thru my mind and instantly I broke down in tears. I can never be able to forget how hard I fell when things went so wrong between us. I swear I hit rock bottom and all of this was because I gave my all to u and the feeling wasn’t mutual. I do not think I will ever be able to trust you again. I was so blinded by “love” that I was probably being taken from a fool all along. You may think that I didn’t know anything, that u had me under a serious lock that I believed everything you told me. Truth is, I didn’t believe you very much in a lot that you said. Its true what they say “a women’s intuition is never wrong”. From the pictures u sent, to going to see her over break and fucking her, how could you expect me to believe anything or even trust you. Yes, I wasn’t the perfect person in our relationship, I too have dirt, but nothing can compare what you did to me. You began to take it for granted that I was always going to be there, truth is, I really want to be, but I will not allow myself to be hurt in the process. Things got weird, u became distant, and I knew wat that all meant, you wanted to be free, you didn’t want to be bothered by me n e more. You should have just let me go nd stop holding on. This isn’t only your fault, it is mine too I knew something was wrong but I ignored the facts and I kept fighting thru all the hurt and frustration. I loved you, I truly and genuinely loved you with all my heart, I loved you more than I loved myself. THAT WAS MY BiGGEST MiSTAKE.. You came before me, everything was you than me, you needed something I came to the rescue forgetting the most important person in my life. You think that I may not know about everything that is going on now but I know everything. It’s a shame how u keep leading all these ppl on. You keep holding on to people when you kno that you are unhappy. It makes me think DAMN I bet you were doing the same things when you were with me. I can tell you were so UNHAPPY. I wouldn’t put it passed you at all. The word love is just a game to you. You cant LOVE someone truly until u FULLY LOVE YOURSELF. How dare you do that to people that you “LOVE”. When it all comes down to the truth, YOU USED ME. I loved you so much that I wanted to remain friends, but when I tried I failed, things were to hard, I was still angry, how culd u expect me not to be. Of course you didn’t feel any kind of way, YOU left ME, YOU did ME dirty, YOU told me you didn’t want to be in a relationship when YOU got in one soon after.
I have never been able to fully get over how strongly I felt about you. It gets harder and harder everyday. The day I saw you crying over something SHE did, was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with. I couldn’t stand to see the one that I love being disrespected and hurting. To see that you went back nd worked everything out made me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe that you could allow yourself to go thru all of that . Yes, it is good to forgive everyone for the wrong they do to you. But things just are never gonna be the same. You will never forget how one mad you feel. That shyt cut me like a knife, cuz I felt so lied to and betrayed. You kept telling me how unhappy you were with HER than showed something else. I mean I know how it feels to be in love with someone and you would do anything to work things out. How could I ever trust you again? And this is why I had to let you go. We have no future in a relationship; we have no future as friends. As much as it hurts to let go, its something that needs to be done. I did it for the both of us. I do not want to be a burden in your life and I do not want you to remain hurting me. Although it is not intentional, just speaking to you hurt me. I know when the date August 20th comes; I’m going to be a wreck. I haven’t been able to move on fully because you were always around. Now that it’s over and done with, and all communication is lost, I can say that I’m ready to live my life to the fullest and love me for me. I will not worry about my love life, I had a good one but being stuck on you, I LOST OUT on something good.
I wish that you would just grow up and realize the things that you do instead of leaving this trail of broken hearts behind you. I can honestly say that I have no words for you anymore, after hearing things that are going on, you disgust me. I will never wish bad things upon you. I wish you would change for the better someday and fully grow up and find someone that is willing to appreciate you for all that you are. Since that person couldn’t be me, I hope that she’ll be everything u always wanted and so much more. So when it all comes down to how I feel about you now: U Let Me Go REMEMBER...Now Keep Letting Go cause the Old Me is Dead and Gone and The New Me Isn't Looking Back
…to be continued
No comments:
Post a Comment