Right Through Me

Your eyes pierced through my soul
Brreaking into my mold
I'm scared to death by your grip
Though its lovingly, a gift
I've never felt a love like this
I'm used to hollowness and something that doesn't exist
You took my hand and erased everything
Now my her it sings
You see right through me
I just don't understand it
First I love it
Then I hate it
This feeling so confusing
I can't understand it
I need you to explain it
What kind of magic is this
I'm scared
You see right through me
Why do you do this to me
How can you do this to me
Don't know why you hold me
I'm just losing it
Feels like I don't exist
Feels like I'm a book from your shelf
You opened me up
Left me uncovered
I'm scared nude before your touch
I say you see right through me
Its so pinful it hurts
I'm used to the locks on the door
Used to beeing alone on my floor
But babe you see right through me
Damn
How do you do that shit

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Today is my Birthday. I love my next breath.
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Untitled

You sit in silence
You dont even have the decencey to explain yourself
7 months down the drain all over a naimless fuck
Love fuck love when shes what you want
You obliterated my heart
Now that, I dont understand that part
You love me, Fuck me
Fuck the time i put into this shit
Fuck the days i waisted
Fuck the heart i gave
Piece by piece you broke me down
Happy now
Im Empty, im drained
Locked up in the whole you dropped me in
Past off and forgotten
You love me, Kill me
Take my heart
Do away with me
Lock me in your closet
Take me out when need best
You Love me, Destroy me
Incinerated i am your garbage
Toss me away
for i am worthless
Soulless
You Love me...
You.
Love.
Me.
Forget Me.

Te Amo...Just Die

From the moment we met i fell in love. My mistake. I mistook her for someone who was willing to love me the way that i was willing to love her. She promised me forever and at first i believed her but as time went on i began to see commitment just wasnt for her. She was a girl who needed many and i was a woman, who at the time, didnt need any. Our first eye contact was intense. She smiled at me and my heart beg her to be near. It started innocently just friends and before the week could end i was sick. She was something i never felt before. My drug. My body called and pleaded to be with her. So i fed it and she became my habit. Fell quick and hard. Didnt know it had reached its ending before it even started to begin. I became her downfall and even though we were together i still felt alone. I became needy and dependant something i never dreamed to be. She. Became the death of me. Metaphorically. I was no longer the girl i used to be. Before i knew it i was begging and pleading her not to leave me. Sick, stuck on something that shouldve never begun. Failure. She left me and took my heart with her as she told me she no longer felt the same. I cried and she pulled away and my heart never felt the same. I watched her walk away as my heart bled. She was the end of me. The Epitome of my demise. That day apart of me died.

Why do we argue?

Thats the question i always ask myself. One minute youre in the wrong the next is me. Yet all i want is for us to stop arguing. You say im indecisive i say youre controlling. You say im stubborn i say you push me too hard. All i ever wanted was to love you but your making that hard to do. the more i pull the more you push, if i say left you say right. Then we always end up in a fight.
I neva say anything just let it all slide, still trying to get over all of your previous lies. too afraid we'll end up back there, the first square with me in tears and you...well no where here. What can i do? WHat can i say to make all of this just go away? Why must we argue? Why must we fight?? when all i wanna do is just give you a kiss?

Trust

Some peope say its hard to trust, personaly i think it's harder to be trusted. Constant questions of who, what, when, where, how, AND why. Sometimes that shit just makes you feel like a child. Start requestioning your actions like damn should i really have eaten the banana on the way from the store or waited till i got home to sit in their face and eat it just so they'd kknow i REALLy went to the store. That real stupid, show and tell type of shit. Make you feel like you in kindergarden all over again. and god forbid you actually step outta line for heavens sake call the feds cause ya ass about to be walking the green mile. Its like you cant take a step forward without jotting down how far you stepped and all your thoughts in between making that step. Sounds crazy? Yeah i know but see thats what happens when there is no trust. When the past fucks some one up so bad they just dont know how to love. Too busy questioning motives and putting roadblocks out just so that you never get too close. Its crazy. You spend all ya time working on breaking one wall down and the person youre with starts remembering past shit that another person did and the walls right back up again. Its hard trying to be trustworthy to a person who has no trust. Who sits and thinks about all the wrong you could be doing when you out of the eye imit. Im not gonna lie i used to say trust was something hard for me to do too. But sitting on the opposite side shit now i know better. You cant expect walls to break cause you just said "yo baby just trust me" just the benefit of the doubt would be nice maybe a tad bit of the trusting. But i guess that will never happen when you have someone so baddly burned from previous scars that their too blind and numb to when the real deal comes along. Trust..**Sigh** Shit i wish.

Sweet Beautiful lady

Dont tell me that we aint meant to be girl, that this feeling that im feeling aint reality girl. I pinched myself so i know this has to be real. Im sitting here stuck on thoughts of you cant get you off my mind im sick dreaming of a future you dont even see. Getting lonely in these dreams need you to be here beside me. Im searching deep and beyond just to make sure you here in the end. Dont got much to offer but my hand and my heart and im handing it off as soon as you ready to start. I give you every heart beat every breath i take im here for you. Put ya hand in my hand tel them this is real haters, She's mine haters. Dont gotta worry bout a thing cause im all yours faithfully im committed. Only together a few weeks yet you stole my heart the way nikkas could never do after years of effort. You got me singing songs knowing i got no vocals just wishing to one day take ya hand. Im talking marriage we both in dresses shit we can gee it up skip a cerimony and hit up that city hall if thats what you like. Im down for being her for a life time you know my style babe im here so fuck the next man. Cal me Trey baby cause cant nobody do it the way that i can. Never been a pimp but never took this love thing seriously. For you though im willing and able im talking no more. Without you i cant sleep, if im not with you i cant think you got me high like a drug baby you got me flying. Scared of heights but im falling for you like this is not an out of the ordinary thing. Quoting love movies printing hearts around our names switching up my style cant show too much thats disrespectful. Nikkas like nah this wont last you gon miss the dick but id go forever celibate and live off just the taste of you and still be the happiest woman in this world. Dont let nobody tell you that my love aint true cause they some lies some haters and they just mad cause they aint me tight that they cant have you disgusted because i have you. Im blessed to have you id be damned if i let someone hurt you got so much love for you i dont know what to do im just hoping one day that youll understand how much i mean it when i say I love you. How thats an understatement for the value of my feelings toward you. those three little words can never express the value in which i feel for you. Your like a dream come true . I cant do nothing but bless this day ive been given to spend with you. If i had my way id use this whole world to write i love you on every block unti ive run out of earth and had to move to another planet because baby my love for you wont ever stop with every heart beat theres a thought of you that passes through my mind that wont ever stop. People talk about their loves but it wont ever compare to this love between you and i. Because you are more then just a girl, more then just a friend you are the blood that races through my body. every breathe i take, youll always be the highlight of this life of mine, and its to you i give my everything i will be here till the end and forever on cause forever just doesnt seem long enough when its you im thinking of my Sweet Beautiful Lady.

She is Mine,,,

Its funny how one person can change your whole perception on life. I'm not talking about a person's personal views, but i mean just their presence. See My girl....Damn...My girl....yeah she's got grace, shes got brains, hell if i didnt know any better id swear she was an angel. Flyest thing i have ever seen i look at her and im lost. Drooling in my sleep just from the freaky things we do in my dreams. Shes got me thinking of an eternal life where my forever lover is she. Beauty just does not explain in depth, when we first met i didnt want to get to close now i can never be too close i need her al the time. Gotta have her all the time or like a crack fein i start suffering from withdrawls. Shes the sweetest taste this world has ever offered. If it was possible i would live in her so i would never have to be apart from her. Taste her till the time stops and her legs drop and her mouth screams "Stop babe i cant take it no more." Just like my favorite meal though, as soon as im done ill be begging for more.Shes my drug and im her addict, aint no way im letting her go so the next chick could have her. If i had my way we would live for eternity just so i could spend foorever in her arms. I know ya'll probably thinking yo this girl is sprung and guess what ill admit it. Im sprung, hooked, a fein, desperately and hopelessly addicted to those brown eyes of hers. If she we're a pool i swear i might just try to drown myself in her. Suffocate myself with her intoxicating fragrance just to be revived and start all over again . With her i dont worry about nothing this world ever dishes out my flawless princess makes this world seem as if this is all imaginary. Nothing real could ever taste this sweet, look this....breathtaking. Yet here i am. Standing before the women who stops my heart with every glance she throws my way. soon to be in cardiac arrest by the way she captures my voice with the beautiful melody that is her voice. Shes my universe in body form and all i want to do is be with her as much as possible. Cant call her no more because she leaves me speechless soon somebody gon have to call 911 the way she leaves me breathless. Im the perfect candidate for a heart attack because everytime she looks at me, my heart skips a beat. Yeah i know its crazy the way i seem to be getting so deep but i have to admit she got me. Since that first kiss when her lips touched mines ive been stuck on her willingly. she is the epitome of greatness, She's royal highness indeed, My Queen, The princess of my fortress Draked it when he said she was the best, Now i got every body sick adn tired of her cause her name is aways on my tounge to the point it where my tounge wont even rest too worked up on saying the best. She's stolen my heart and now there's nothing there but i have to say if i had to give it away im glad its hers cause she is the most devine and i thank god every day that...She is Mine...

Heaven Here On Earth.

So lucky me i met the woman of my dreams. Yes that does mean that i am Gay. Gay. Gay. I have been for years but i have always tried to hide it util i could find the perfect woman to take all the gay jokes and ridicule from my family for. She's my rock and when i look at her its like i fall deeper and deeper each time. She makes me feel better then any man in my life has ever made me feel ...Scratch that better then ANYONE in my life has made me feel her. With her i am able to be comfortable and myself and thats more then i could ever ask her. When im with her i just want to do any and everything in my power to make her happy. I know she gets mad sometimes when i always offer to buy her something or do something for her but its because i want to continue to see that beautiful smile of her's all day everyday. I never thought in a million years i would be able to love again after my last relationship but here i am thinking about this woman 24'7 wondering if shes thinking of me. After years of heart break, the tears, the lies, and the pain of love lost after love lost i never thought i would be able to feel the way that i feel for her. When im with her i loose control of all my audio skills and choke on every thought, word, talk i have for her. She makes me loose my breathe with every speech and i feel alive again, i feel whole once again.
My family believes that i am just confused and this is just a phase but there is no confusion about the way that i feel for her. Before we got together i would dream of an angel who would find me and numb all the pain that i once felt and i believe with all my heart that i have found her. she makes me smile, she makes me laugh, she makes me want to be as good as i can for her. At times i feel like i am not good enough for her. Shes like a star in the sky and i feel almost too lucky to say that i get to have my own perfect star. Just when i began to give up on this long and strenuous journey i found perfection within my imperfect world. From her sweet and beautiful eyes to her delicate kiss i realize that there is a god and he has made her specifically for me. I know many say that a love like ours is just deviant and unacceptable but in the end she is my rib. She is my heart. She's the love i promise to cherish for many years to come. She is the air i breathe. The love ive only been able to dream of. She is everything that is right in this world of wrong i have been forced to live in. No words. No one song. No movie. Nothing on this earth can show just how much i care for this woman . She is a devine beauty and a heavenly spirit that has graced me with the best feelin in the world. Because of her i have trully found...Heaven On Earth.